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CU Medallion [68495]
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Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
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May 8, 2024, 4:48 PM
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SUicide. Painful and serious topic. Well at Ohio St commencement Sunday a person fell from the stadium and was killed. Subsequent reports said it was not an accident, nor murder, but suicide. Apparently the person was a family member of a graduate.
What kind of person would do that there? Other families around, graduates, and people on edge for campus tensions and this person decides to do that then?
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Heisman Winner [137434]
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Selfish
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May 8, 2024, 4:49 PM
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and troubled
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Lot o points [181663]
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My Uncle jumped off a bridge over 85 south of spaghetti junction..
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May 8, 2024, 4:55 PM
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in the mid 90's. He survived. Never could tell anyone why he did it. He finally passed living paralayzed in a govt nursing center in Macon about a year after my Dad passed.
10 years ago, my other Uncle shot himself in front of his wife and 2 teenage daughters.
Different sides of fam, we'll never know why on this earth.
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All-In [43759]
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Jeez that is awful.***
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May 8, 2024, 5:30 PM
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Lot o points [181663]
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Now they have tall fences on most bridges.***
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May 8, 2024, 6:42 PM
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All-In [30017]
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Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
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May 8, 2024, 7:01 PM
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Could have been mental illness. I've known two people who tried to commit suicide-both in their 20's; my best friend from HS while we were in college, and an extended family member a few years back. The HS friend succeeded, and the family member failed. Last time I spoke with the family member he said he's living his life not day-to-day, but 6-minutes to 6-minutes.
Both incredibly intelligent, and both developed mental illness in their 20's. And both deliberately went off their meds with dire results.
It's said there's a fine line between madness and brilliance, and I kind of believe it. They simply see the world in a different way. Neither of these guys were straight jacket types...both highly functional and highly successful at their points in life. And then the wheels just came off. Mental Illness is a hell of a thing.
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110%er [7082]
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It really is.
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May 9, 2024, 9:35 AM
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I fear that that the Covid impacts are just now starting to rear their heads in that regard. I am glad that there seems to be a push towards addressing mental illnesses though. Everyone has demons they fight, some just don't have the tools to keep them at bay. Especially when they're 13 or 14.
I've seen what this does to families, and it's absolutely heartbreaking.
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Hall of Famer [24527]
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Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
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May 9, 2024, 3:20 PM
[ in reply to Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this ] |
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I have an Uncle who has earned and honorary Doctorates - smart man. He had a traumatic childhood, which I think was a big part of his depression later in life. He took a bunch of pills to try to kill himself. He called paramedics. His thought was that the paramedics would retrieve his body so that my aunt (who was out of town) wouldn't have to walk in on that. He was ultimately revived, but it was pretty close. He just said he didn't want to live anymore. I don't think he's suicidal anymore, but he still struggles.
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CU Medallion [58744]
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A deeply disturbed person.***
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May 8, 2024, 8:54 PM
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All-TigerNet [12746]
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Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
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May 9, 2024, 7:49 AM
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Severe depression, bipolar not on meds, schizophrenia, generalized hopelessness, and/or meds used for depression are just some of the potential causes that could cause a person to off themselves.
I doubt this person did this to distract others. It may have been a completely impulsive act.
The brain's wiring and chemistry is still not well understood.
I had a partner in my practice kill himself in a very violent manner as well as a first cousin, great uncle by marriage and a kind neighbor. My mother had 2 near successful attempts, before getting on proper antidepressants and living a content life to 90.
Only in the great uncle could I fathom a valid reason to consider suicide as his health was awful and not going to improve.
Though the act itself is selfish and leaves a wake of destruction behind for the family members, I don't think the individuals committing suicide are themselves selfish. Their minds are just super messed up and thankfully most of us will not have to confront the demons in their heads that they succumb to.
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CU Medallion [58744]
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Very well said.
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May 9, 2024, 9:39 AM
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My father took his own life. He'd had major back surgery 3 times over the preceding 20-something years, and was in chronic pain. It was a condition that was getting worse and more surgery was not an option. Then, at age 83, he had a heart attack, and fell and hurt his back again pretty bad when it happened. His back was further damaged, but again, surgery was not an option, especially due to the condition of his heart at that particular time. He knew he faced a long, painful recovery, with the best possible outcome being mostly bedridden and likely in even worse chronic pain, not to mention being dependent on others to care for him most of the time. Living alone, there weren't a lot of good options.
I went to the drug store to pick up his morphine one day, and when I went into the house, I noticed his bedroom was dark. I found him in his bed, pistol in hand, with a hole in his head. My father was a Bible-believing Christian and was an incredibly caring and generous person. He didn't have a selfish bone in his body. I have neve blamed him or been angry with him for one second. I understand what he was dealing with and what the road ahead looked like. His sadness and hopelessness was understandable, and not unreasonable. I didn't want him hanging on and enduring that just for me and the rest of us. I believe he is now free from the pain and suffering, and I am happy for him.
Suicide is a tragic, painful event for all involved. People who choose suicide are not in good mental health, and are almost always suffering in some way. Yes, it is extremely painful for friends and family members, and that should be considered and be a powerful deterrent, but the person committing the act is not necessarily selfish ... at all. They are unwell and struggling to a degree most of us can't imagine.
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All-In [43759]
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So sorry you had to go through that. In that situation I think I would make
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May 9, 2024, 3:00 PM
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the same decision your father did.
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CU Medallion [58744]
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Thank you.***
May 10, 2024, 8:41 AM
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All-In [30017]
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Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
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May 9, 2024, 10:52 AM
[ in reply to Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this ] |
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>The brain's wiring and chemistry is still not well understood.
>Their minds are just super messed up.
Couldn't agree more. I think they are just locked inside their own worlds and hyper-myopic. Every case is different of course, but I think the suicides often have less to do with outside perceptions and more to do with inside perceptions.
As my family member said, "It's all I can do to get through the next six minutes sometimes." He's not thinking about the outside world in those moments, he's completely self-absorbed. And not in an egotistical way, in a self-preservation way.
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All-In [40394]
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any tale of suicide reminds me of Beyond the Gray Sky by 311
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May 9, 2024, 9:22 AM
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Specifically these two verses:
Don't give up the fight to stay alive
And even if you have to
Find the reason of another's pain
If they lose you
If not for your self
Then those around who care, like I do
One day you'll see the clear blue
I can't believe you didn't call
What made you want to end it all
Wasn't there something I should have tried
To help you see beyond the gray sky
I'm not suicidal by any stretch, but man these lyrics hit.
I understand that mental illness, etc play a huge role and people aren't thinking clearly about others when they make this choice, but dang. At the ripe old age of 42, I reflect on breakups, work issues, life issues and how seemingly important they were at the time and how life moves on and everything is OK. Hate to hear/see stuff like this for people that are young and just don't understand that there is WAY more to life than their young mind can fathom.
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CU Medallion [58744]
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All-In [42563]
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Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
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May 9, 2024, 10:35 AM
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I try to be as empathetic as possible to people struggling with this, and there was a time in my life where I did as well. But I also can't get over the selfishness and the pain one inflicts on their family members by committing suicide in this fashion, or leaving their body for someone to find.
Someone I cared about committed suicide this year, and it was heartbreaking. That person left behind so many people who cared about him; you could see it at the funeral. But what I couldn't get over was how he did it in a way that his mother found him immediately, and I can't even fathom what that poor woman had to endure.
Talk to someone. Get help. But also think about those who love you and what you're going to do to them in these situations.
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CU Medallion [58744]
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I agree - talk to somebody - reach out - get help. I truly believe that for
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May 9, 2024, 1:29 PM
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a lot, maybe most people, considering how it will affect family and friends will be a deterrent. I never want suicide to become "acceptable", if you will, because I think most people can and will get better, or at least have better days with time; they just have to get past the temporary, false belief that their current situation and sadness is permanent.
Having said that, it's a sad truth that some people who are elderly and near the end of life are honestly facing an unbearable future, and in those situations, I completely understand choosing not to endure the inevitable suffering and deteriorating quality of life, and it would be selfish of me to judge them.
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All-In [42563]
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I wish...
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May 9, 2024, 1:51 PM
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We could extend the same mercy to people that we do our pets (had this discussion with a friend who is putting his down today). Let them get a psych evaluation ahead of time and get a judge to sign off, and then let them choose to end their own suffering or give the family power to do it.
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All-In [43759]
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I'm with you but keep the judges out of it (and all medical decisions).***
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May 9, 2024, 2:58 PM
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Hall of Famer [21395]
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I have always had a hard time understanding why someone would do that.
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May 9, 2024, 11:10 AM
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I do not have depression or anything like that, so I dont get it.
Someone who does battle depression described it to me like this... those people that jumped from the WTC felt completely hopeless of being rescued and in a lot of pain so they jumped... that is what depression is like, the hopelessness of being rescued and pain, albeit mental.
That helped me understand it a little better.
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All-In [39736]
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Re: Ok I bring this up because what kind of family member does this
May 10, 2024, 3:27 PM
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I have been on scene after many suicide to try to figure it out.
Reasons and motivation vary a lot.
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