Y'all lack heart, desire, and most importantly, the football fundamentals. Y'all know: tackling, lining up properly, playing with the lead, not turning the ball over, in general... not effing things up.
There's an easy fix to this. Time to bring in a legend to turn things around. A hero that can get the coots playing sound football. A savior that can take your program to the next level.
Get rid of Slurrier and...
Wait for it...
BRING BACK DR. LOU!!!
You're welcome coots!
And I ain't kidding. Ask yourself this, coots. What's better now? Going to the Outback Bowl or where you're going this December?